How to Prove Financial Abuse

Financial abuse can take many forms. Here are some common red flags:

• Controlling Access to Money: The abuser might take your debit card, credit card, or bank statements. They may restrict your access to cash or force you to ask for permission for every purchase.
• Denying You Financial Information: The abuser may keep you in the dark about the couple’s finances, hiding bank statements and refusing to discuss income or expenses.
• Forcing You to Take Out Loans: The abuser might pressure you to take out loans in your name for their benefit, leaving you with the debt.
• Misusing Your Assets: The abuser might run up credit card bills in your name, sell your belongings without your consent, or use your money for gambling or other activities.
• Preventing You from Working: The abuser may try to sabotage your career or force you to quit your job, making you financially dependent on them.
• Coercing You to Change Your Will: The abuser might pressure you to leave them a larger share of your assets or even exclude other beneficiaries.

Building a strong case of financial abuse requires gathering evidence. Here are some steps you can take:

• Financial Documents: Collect any financial documents you can access, including bank statements, credit card statements, loan agreements, pay slips, and tax returns.
• Account Statements: If the abuser controls your accounts, try to get copies of statements online or request physical copies to be sent to a trusted friend’s address.
• Records of Communication: Save emails, text messages, or voicemails where the abuser threatens you regarding finances, pressures you for money, or admits to misusing your assets.
• Witness Statements: If someone witnessed the abuser’s controlling behaviour regarding finances, ask them to provide a written statement detailing their observations.

Depending on the severity of the financial abuse, several legal options may be available:

• Protective Orders: You can seek a restraining order to protect yourself and your finances. This order may prohibit the abuser from opening new accounts in your name, accessing your existing accounts, or harassing you regarding money.
• Civil Claim: You can sue the abuser for financial damages, including recouping money they misused or recovering the value of sold belongings.
• Divorce Proceedings: If you are married to the abuser, financial abuse can be grounds for divorce. Your lawyer can help ensure a fair division of assets and alimony settlements.

While securing a restraining order or navigating legal options are important, taking steps to safeguard your finances immediately is crucial. Here’s what you can do:

• Open Separate Bank Accounts: Open a new bank account in your own name, and don’t share your login information with the abuser.
• Change Passwords: Change the passwords for your online banking accounts, email, and any other accounts the abuser might have access to.

Monitor Your Credit Report: Obtain your credit report and monitor it regularly for any unauthorised activity.

Financial abuse can take a significant emotional toll. The victim might experience feelings of shame, guilt, isolation, and fear. Here are some ways to cope:

• Connect with a Therapist: A therapist can provide support and guidance as you process the emotional abuse and begin healing.
• Join a Support Group: Talking to others who have experienced financial abuse can be incredibly validating and provide a sense of community.